blood spilling from hearts on a sidewalk
by unsheltered
Summary: "and then you stomped all over my heart like it was a sidewalk." for ren. HAPPY  belated  BIRTHDAY! :D


disclaimed: i don't own the characters. or the quotes.

FOR REN-OCTOPUS: happy (belated) birthday!

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><p><strong>prompts<strong>: milkshakes, streetlights, thunder, and comic books

**pairing**: cam & alicia

**genre**: angst (not really, anyway.)

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><p><strong>blood spilling from hearts on a sidewalk<strong>

_[a birthday fic. for ren.]_

**by** love in technicolor

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><p>cam,<p>

here's a little something for you. you know i live by quotes. this isn't meant for you to read. but you're more than welcome to read it. maybe you'll learn something.

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><p><em>[if you love someone, you set them free. if they return, they were always yours. if they don't, they never were.]<em>

i was stupid to actually listen and follow that quote. it made me lose the one thing in my life that made me happy.

cam fisher.

but i guess it taught me a lesson.

he didn't really love me.

which really, really, _sucks_.

_[just when you think things can't get any worse, they do. i've learned that life is like an hourglass. sooner or later, everything hits rock bottom. all you have to do it be patient and wait for someone to turn everything around. – davis h.]_

ironically, as i read this quote for the first time, in the middle of it, rain started pouring down, lightning flashed across the sky, and **thunder** started booming.

i ran into the closest store and it just so happened that that's where i first met cam fisher.

that's when everything turned around for me.

but like our dear davis said, sooner or later everything hits rock bottom.

i was too happy (with cam) to remember that.

_[you deserve to be with someone who makes you happy. somebody who doesn't complicate your life. somebody who won't hurt you.]_

cam made me happy.

cam didn't make my life complicated and he didn't hurt me.

until now, that is.

if only there were **streetlights** that were red, signaling me to stop loving cam.

only love can't be controlled.

_[it's amazing how someone can break your heart, but you still love them with all the little pieces.]_

don't go thinking that heartbreak doesn't hurt.

because here's the truth:

it does. a lot.

you wonder if you did something bad and you can't stand not knowing, so you do something crazy and drastic trying to get the attention of that person.

only, it doesn't work, because he doesn't care about you.

_he never did._

but you still love him.

_[i'd like to believe that i'll wake up one morning and not miss him anymore. i'll finally get that when he broke my heart, it was for a reason; one that i just don't understand yet. but when i do, i'll know that _he_ messed up, not me.]_

that morning hasn't happened for me yet. but i'm wishing that it will come soon.

_very_ soon.

maybe breaking hearts is what he does for fun. or maybe it's a game for him, seeing how many girls will fall for him and seeing which hearts he can break.

because if it _is_ a game for him, he's definitely won this round because my heart is most certainly …

_broken._

_[ask me why i keep on loving you when it's clear that you don't feel the same way for me … the problem is that as much as i can't force you to love me, i can't force myself to stop loving you.]_

it's just like saying: "you can't force me to stop drinking **milkshakes** because i love them."

well, it's the same concept. kinda of.

i only love milkshakes more than i have before because i remember when he broke up with me, i dumped my chocolate milkshake on his perfect, ruffled, jet-black hair.

but now, i can't drink or eat or even _think_ about anything chocolate.

it reminds me of that day.

and _you_.

_[never frown because you never know who's falling in love with your smile.]_

he fell in love with my smile.

or well, he said he did. he also said that he loved me, and look where _that_ headed.

so maybe he _didn't_ love my smile.

i just like to think he did.

and still does.

_[i want to be his favorite hello, but his hardest goodbye.]_

but i wasn't.

we want things that we can never really have. we _hope_ and _wish_ and _pray_ that we get what we want, but we never really do.

i was an easy hello, and an easy goodbye.

something i _never_ wanted to be for him.

_[we were given everything in two's: hands, legs, feet, ears, eyes, nostrils, arms … but why only one heart? … because someone was given the other one to find.]_

i just haven't found that someone.

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><p>it was just like in the <strong>comic books<strong> and the movies and the books, except for her, there was no hero.

yet.

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><p>i'm getting over you, cam, day by day, but it still hurts.<p>

love (or maybe not),

alicia.

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><p>that sign-off sucked. actually, it all sucked.<p>

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY, REN! (:

and the de-capitalization? that was on purpose.


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